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Washboard-Abs-No-Face and unsolicited dick pics that most women, unfortunately, receive. But searching for Mr. In terms of looks, I prefer taller guys. They view me as exotic, a kink, something new to try. But I finally reached my limit when one of my dates bumped into someone he knew when we were together.

Dating Other Women as a Trans Woman: Some Suggestions

His silence told me exactly how much I meant to him. After realizing that I deserved so much better and was wasting my time with these guys, I stopped giving them attention. These are men who find me attractive, but are initially hesitant because of my trans-ness.


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  • One guy in particular seemed to really like me. We vibed well and there was sexual tension building during our dates. Then poof, he was gone.

    The Transgender Woman’s Field Guide to Dating

    I had another similar experience on a first date where a man greeted me, hugged me, then said he left something in his car. After a couple of minutes, I got a text from him while waiting alone at our table that said he had to leave because my transgender status was giving him anxiety. After that, I stopped chasing guys who were too concerned about their feelings to even think about mine.

    Trying to find love as a transgender man

    Thanks to Tinder, profile pictures say more than a thousand words—and actual words seem to be irrelevant on our profiles. While most people only consider the profile pic before swiping right or left, for me, the text on my profile is crucial. I get plenty of matches on Tinder, but within 24 hours around half of them un-match or block me after reading my profile.

    Three Types of Guys I’ve Met Dating Online as a Single Trans Woman

    At some point during our hike, he expressed that he was extremely attracted to me, and in some ways scared to like me. He told me he was trying his hardest to restrain himself from kissing me for a few reasons. He asked my permission to take a day to think about us moving forward. After much thought, our conversation for closure came down to two things: His mother and friends would accept me, but his Serbian father never would; and he was afraid of experiencing me sexually.

    With this type of guy, I tend to go into education mode and talk about the normalcy of my hand-crafted vulva. This leads to man number three. This guy either has a fetish for trans women, prefers them over cis women i. After almost two months of playing coy, we finally went on a date. We decided to act like a couple for the evening, holding hands on the sidewalk and over dinner. During our night together, we had one of our deep conversations.

    3 Types of Guys I’ve Met Online Dating as a Trans Woman - FLARE

    His friend invited over two prostitute friends of theirs, and those two girls each brought another sex-worker friend, one of whom was a pre-operative trans woman, whom he proceeded to have sex with while high on heroine. Situations like this turn me off. In part, my instant reduction of attraction towards this guy stems from skepticism about why they want to pursue things with a trans woman.

    When I transitioned, transgenderism was not discussed in mainstream media, and men attracted to trans women were either ill-intentioned, harmful, or ostracized. Unless you feel compatible with this type of kinky partner, please do not feel the need to entertain their sexual desires or their objectification.

    The Transgender Woman’s Field Guide to Dating

    This brings me to the ideal man. This guy is respectful, interested in learning more, forward-thinking, and has a progressive attitude. My ex is one of these rare species of men. If he and I met or rekindled our relationship a year from now, things would be different. It was a mature relationship at an age where we had much to learn.

    We broke up in hopes of being together again someday, if and when we were in the same city at the same time. I fell in the love with his being, his soul, the person that he was, and I know he felt the same. I wish, at times, that he cared enough to not let me go completely, but I am thankful for it now. This is the man I look for when I consider any potential prospect. All trans women looking to date a cisgender man should look out for this type of gentleman.